i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
