I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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