Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
