Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
