mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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