Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
