I am in a vortex of obligation.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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