It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
