I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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