my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
