I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
