I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
