already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
