how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
