no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
