I love black thongs
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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