how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
