It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
