Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Your cock deserves a montage
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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