god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
