Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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