I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's like heaven, but drunker
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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