if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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