i think i have herpe
just one?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
