did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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