you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
