yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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