38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
