I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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