I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
