There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
