I'm jealous of your bromance
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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