I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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