i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding