ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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