He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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