This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
