the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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