I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
