jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize