my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
