birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
