peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
