Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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