I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
