Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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