Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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