Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
