Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
