That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
