dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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