Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
