somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
