Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
