I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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