He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Drunk is not a location!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
