Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
