is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize