tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
