I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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