Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
