yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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