Screwed.edu
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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