Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
