i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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